Literally.... a shitty story.... ha.... ha....

So, as you may already know, (if you read my last blog) I recently started working a "traditional" job again, after working as a full time mom and wife for 6 craaaaazy, amazing, fun, challenging years raising our 2 sons. 

Time stamp 8:41pm... (this will make more sense in a bit)

So with working 32 hrs a week and hubby working shift work with a very sporadic schedule, it's no surprise that the house chores dont exactly do themselves.... (who am I kidding.... they never did).  And well, when said chores start to pile up, this momma bear's OCD and anxiety both get kicked up a notch.

So this weekend, I had had enough. I wanted to get better control of the pile of dishes that I never seem to be able to clear up for longer than an hour before it piles up again. And the never ending laundry. And the toys the kids never pick up. So I came up with a few plans and rules where the whole family can participate and do their share of tasks that a 2 yr old can do! (Mine are 4 and 6).

So from the minute I got home after work friday, I started the kitchen, then the laundry, and the folding while watching TV after the kids were in bed. 

So before I get to my shitty story.... here is the plan of action! The dishwasher will be run even if it's only half full! (Cuz I'm a glass half full kinda gal). That way everytime we're done a meal, its washed and emptied and the kids are asked to help empty, and to put their dirty dishes in it also! (The order doesn't make sense but you get my whiff... I mean drift) 

Then I brought this upstairs, as soon as one bag is full, it's taken to the laundry room to be washed right away, which the kids will be asked to help with laundry, with the help of Ghostbuster music! (The current big thing) 

(Daddy sleeps downstairs and he's responsible for his laundry too).

All the toys were moved downstairs so I can't see them most of the time.

And after cleaning up dog poop in the yard, and cleaning windows at +10 celcius on Nov 22 (never seen in the last 5 yrs we've been here in Cold Lake), and getting some food prep done, going to watch daddy play touch football, and bathing the kids and getting them in bed by 7:12pm tonight,  Sunday Nov 23rd, (deep breath because it's a dang long sentence) this momma was ready to kick her feet up for the first time all weekend.... 

7:14 pm..... I heard foot steps down the hall.... more foot steps moving around.... and then it hit me.... THE VERY POTENT UNPLESANT SMELL OF SHIT... but hadn't heard the toilet seat.... 7:15 pm. 

Pause my show,  Long Island Medium (I LOVE HER! IT'S MY DREAM TO MEET THERESA CAPUTO SOME DAY!)

I walk up to find my youngest disoriented.... half asleep, with piles of poop behind him on the floor.... 

His pants around his ankles,  legs covered,  toilet seat covered.... then I realized a few things.... 

1. he hadn't pooped in a couple of days, 

2. He hadn't had much of an appetite all weekend,  

3. I'd made French toast and added flax to make sure they wouldn't get constipated.... which seemed to have worked....🙄

So not to upset him while he's obviously still half asleep,  I gently guided him to the toilet so he could finish (there was more?!) while I started to clean the hallway. 

My next realization was as much as I loathed my white cream carpet in the hallway before,  my now brown laminate flooring made it almost impossible to see the poop smears.... and yup. I walked in it too.  Just to add to the shitty shit list.

I was only half way done cleaning the poop on the floor, (there was still 2 considerable piles left), I got him off the toilet and into the shower to clean him off and back to bed asap.... no problem right? Easy peasy. 

Ha-Haha-ha-ha. Riiiiiiiight.

As we walked out of the bathroom.... I look around... poop was  GONE.  The dog.  The damn dog. Ate. The. Poop. 😳🤦‍♀️😑🙄😖🤬

As she sat there, where the piles originally were, she looked up at me with a big smile (it seemed) wagging her tail, probably saying... "Look master!  I love you!  I help clean poop!  I eat it! I Good dog! I help!  I get treat! " 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤢🤢🤢

You get the boot out the door is what you get!  (No animals were hurt in this scene) The last thing I need is you,  puking up, poop, for me to clean! (Do you call that poop-puke?)

So, out the door the dog goes,  off to bed my little guy goes.... and out comes my Norwex to the rescue and the cleaning supplies. 

Y'all know where this goes.... all fours.... scrub.... laundry room....sink.... rinse.... washing machine.... yadiyada....

8:41pm. Mom plops her tired ass back on the couch.  Unpause my show.... deep breath.... (still smells shitty in here butt who cares! (See what I did there? Lol)) relax.... watch my show. 

8:45pm Hubby gets home from work.... pause show... "hey babe!" He says, with his 'I'm glad to be home and i can't wait to come sit with you' .... he asks "how was your night babe?" (Loaded question if I ever heard one) i asked.... "Does it smell kinda shitty in here?".... "Yeah" he sais.... "What happened...." "Wouldn't you like to know?! You missed out on all the fun! Ps don't let the dog kiss you. She's the one who cleaned up the poop".

Sometimes you just have to laugh it off. And so we did.

SHIT HAPPENS. You can make a big shitty deal about it, or you can just sit back, appreciate life, love on those crazy children and that amazing partner of yours, soak in all the cuddles and hugs, and kisses, and just let it go.

Ps. I still don't know what to do about the dog. Any ideas? 

Off to bed. Sweet dreams.