Literally.... a shitty story.... ha.... ha....

So, as you may already know, (if you read my last blog) I recently started working a "traditional" job again, after working as a full time mom and wife for 6 craaaaazy, amazing, fun, challenging years raising our 2 sons. 

Time stamp 8:41pm... (this will make more sense in a bit)

So with working 32 hrs a week and hubby working shift work with a very sporadic schedule, it's no surprise that the house chores dont exactly do themselves.... (who am I kidding.... they never did).  And well, when said chores start to pile up, this momma bear's OCD and anxiety both get kicked up a notch.

So this weekend, I had had enough. I wanted to get better control of the pile of dishes that I never seem to be able to clear up for longer than an hour before it piles up again. And the never ending laundry. And the toys the kids never pick up. So I came up with a few plans and rules where the whole family can participate and do their share of tasks that a 2 yr old can do! (Mine are 4 and 6).

So from the minute I got home after work friday, I started the kitchen, then the laundry, and the folding while watching TV after the kids were in bed. 

So before I get to my shitty story.... here is the plan of action! The dishwasher will be run even if it's only half full! (Cuz I'm a glass half full kinda gal). That way everytime we're done a meal, its washed and emptied and the kids are asked to help empty, and to put their dirty dishes in it also! (The order doesn't make sense but you get my whiff... I mean drift) 

Then I brought this upstairs, as soon as one bag is full, it's taken to the laundry room to be washed right away, which the kids will be asked to help with laundry, with the help of Ghostbuster music! (The current big thing) 

(Daddy sleeps downstairs and he's responsible for his laundry too).

All the toys were moved downstairs so I can't see them most of the time.

And after cleaning up dog poop in the yard, and cleaning windows at +10 celcius on Nov 22 (never seen in the last 5 yrs we've been here in Cold Lake), and getting some food prep done, going to watch daddy play touch football, and bathing the kids and getting them in bed by 7:12pm tonight,  Sunday Nov 23rd, (deep breath because it's a dang long sentence) this momma was ready to kick her feet up for the first time all weekend.... 

7:14 pm..... I heard foot steps down the hall.... more foot steps moving around.... and then it hit me.... THE VERY POTENT UNPLESANT SMELL OF SHIT... but hadn't heard the toilet seat.... 7:15 pm. 

Pause my show,  Long Island Medium (I LOVE HER! IT'S MY DREAM TO MEET THERESA CAPUTO SOME DAY!)

I walk up to find my youngest disoriented.... half asleep, with piles of poop behind him on the floor.... 

His pants around his ankles,  legs covered,  toilet seat covered.... then I realized a few things.... 

1. he hadn't pooped in a couple of days, 

2. He hadn't had much of an appetite all weekend,  

3. I'd made French toast and added flax to make sure they wouldn't get constipated.... which seemed to have worked....🙄

So not to upset him while he's obviously still half asleep,  I gently guided him to the toilet so he could finish (there was more?!) while I started to clean the hallway. 

My next realization was as much as I loathed my white cream carpet in the hallway before,  my now brown laminate flooring made it almost impossible to see the poop smears.... and yup. I walked in it too.  Just to add to the shitty shit list.

I was only half way done cleaning the poop on the floor, (there was still 2 considerable piles left), I got him off the toilet and into the shower to clean him off and back to bed asap.... no problem right? Easy peasy. 

Ha-Haha-ha-ha. Riiiiiiiight.

As we walked out of the bathroom.... I look around... poop was  GONE.  The dog.  The damn dog. Ate. The. Poop. 😳🤦‍♀️😑🙄😖🤬

As she sat there, where the piles originally were, she looked up at me with a big smile (it seemed) wagging her tail, probably saying... "Look master!  I love you!  I help clean poop!  I eat it! I Good dog! I help!  I get treat! " 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤢🤢🤢

You get the boot out the door is what you get!  (No animals were hurt in this scene) The last thing I need is you,  puking up, poop, for me to clean! (Do you call that poop-puke?)

So, out the door the dog goes,  off to bed my little guy goes.... and out comes my Norwex to the rescue and the cleaning supplies. 

Y'all know where this goes.... all fours.... scrub.... laundry room....sink.... rinse.... washing machine.... yadiyada....

8:41pm. Mom plops her tired ass back on the couch.  Unpause my show.... deep breath.... (still smells shitty in here butt who cares! (See what I did there? Lol)) relax.... watch my show. 

8:45pm Hubby gets home from work.... pause show... "hey babe!" He says, with his 'I'm glad to be home and i can't wait to come sit with you' .... he asks "how was your night babe?" (Loaded question if I ever heard one) i asked.... "Does it smell kinda shitty in here?".... "Yeah" he sais.... "What happened...." "Wouldn't you like to know?! You missed out on all the fun! Ps don't let the dog kiss you. She's the one who cleaned up the poop".

Sometimes you just have to laugh it off. And so we did.

SHIT HAPPENS. You can make a big shitty deal about it, or you can just sit back, appreciate life, love on those crazy children and that amazing partner of yours, soak in all the cuddles and hugs, and kisses, and just let it go.

Ps. I still don't know what to do about the dog. Any ideas? 

Off to bed. Sweet dreams. 

Mrs. Cranky pants.

Well, I'm sitting here, in my pjs, under the blankets, reviewing my day, wondering why I'm so cranky, to the point where I irritate myself, l was irritating my hubby with my poor attitude and I'm irritated by everyone....

I'm an optimist, but even the most optimistic optimists are human!

I've been a full time mom for 6 years, raising our 2 boys to the best of my abilities, I love them to the moon and back and realistically, they have some serious skills is driving me crazy sometimes.... but love always prevails. This past sunday, my 6 yo accepted to come with me to walk Princess, our gorgeous, amazing and ever so gentle rescue.... and X looked up at me, a tired mom hiding behind a gentle smile and said, "mom, you're so beautiful! " 😍 and reached for my hand with his 2 hands wrapped in knitted brown mitts and squeezed my hand firmly and said, "dont worry, I'm going to keep your hand warm". 🥰

Well, it's when I'm feeling this crankiness getting the best of me and I stumble on this sweet gentle memory, it fills my heart up. 💛

So tonight I had to apologize to my husband several times for being short, snappy and feeling crummy🤦‍♀️,  he doesn't deserve that. He's such a 🦸‍♂️warrior, a hero,  my knight in shinning armor! He took on the family finances for 6 years and watched our debt free finances slowly crumble during those 6 yrs I was a full time mom. He carried that financial burden for 6 yrs. And that, I know was a big burden. 😣

In January, after 4 yrs of challenges, training, studying, stress, hard work, dedication and definitely a few tears, he was finally qualified as an Air Traffic Controller. It was such a relief, we cried together and celebrated. It had been a long road to a big career change.

With that came a very discombobulated schedule, no real rhyme or reason to his schedule, lucky to get 1 weekend off every 4 to 6 weeks, it was tough on me, and the kids (and him for obvious reasons)  as we always strive to have a steady routine.... hahaha there's no real routine when it come to shift work with a very scattered schedule.

But since we had been through so many ups and downs and challenges and curve balls, we took this one on with grace and love and patience (yes at times tears and frustration) but that's all part of growing! And that! We are awesome at! 👫 Growing together through growing pains that life throws at us.  

It took me/us about 9 months this to get used to the shift work and for the kids to adjust as well. 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 By this time, we keep looking at our financials and couldn't seem to catch a break. So we discussed multiple times me finding a job 👩‍💼. I felt the timing was right. X was full time at school getting home at 4pm, x was m-f mornings at preschool,  and had the option to stay all day for a small fee....

So I started applying for jobs. And the first interview I got.... I dont know if this happens to you.... I dont think I'm cocky at all.... but I usually just walk in, do me, lay it all down, if you like what you hear, great! If not, I'm moving on.

I had an awesome interview! Walked out of there feeling light as a feather! And waited.... and waited.... and then decided that wasn't the job for me, since I assumed and was told they were making the offer the following week and it had been 2 weeks... so I thought, oh well, it wasnt meant to be. 

But what I didn't know was that they were working hard on getting approved on their offer for the position.... then I finally got the call. The offer. It was for only 32 hrs per week.... and a starting salary way below my last job, 6 yrs ago. But there was this thing.... 

Oddly enough, every job I've had so far, I at one time or other envisioned having that job, envisioned working in that office, working in that building, working with this person, working in a healthy environment.... and every time.... the stars aligned. I remember looking up at my now office from the pool or the gym main entrance and wonder... who works there.....?

So the offer wasn't full time, and it wasn't out of this world pay.... so then what was I suppose to get from this? Everything happens for a reason.... so why did I land this one in particular,  and not something full time or with higher pay?

So I honestly thought to myself,  ok, it's a stepping stone.... something else will come along, this is temporary. 

But then I started my job. And my boss, he was a human being! And treated me and talked to me like a human being. And trust, and encouragement,  and recognition,  and appreciation.... 

All the things I never got from my last boss at my last job, who had spent my last 2 yrs at that previous job trying to fire me, because she felt entitled to choosing her own assistant (i was appointed to her), the harassment, manipulation, condescending, never being able to do anything right because she kept changing her demands, sent me literally knocking on a psychologist door. She had broken me down, mentally, psychologically and emotionally. 

This new job, after being a stay at home mom for 6 yrs, they were offering support, flexibility to work around my husband's crazy schedule, and work around my kids' needs and sickness, and if I needed to sleep in an hr because I was up most of the night with the kids, I could do it guilt free. In exchange? That they can count on me on the busy times.... really? Hell fricking yes you can! I'll show up with bells on!

After I got a couple of calls for other interviews for full time jobs, hubby and I talked.... and agreed that this current position was what I was meant to do. That the positive environment, the flexibility, the good boss and healthy lifestyle environment was where I needed to be. So I went in the next day to let my boss know how happy I was with my position and working for him, and that I was there to stay as long as they'd have me. I was declining any further interview offers. 

Oh right.... why am i so cranky then.... today.... well it has nothing to do with my boss enjoying a 3 week vacation in Phoenix with his lovely wife. And has nothing to do with my amazing husband who has happily granted me my wish of being a full time mom for 6 yrs, nor the fact that he's an amazing husband and wouldn't trade him for the world.... And it's not because of my kids even tho I'm a worrywart when it comes to their health.

We just spent a fun filled weekend with the kids and my amazing hubby who finally had a weekend off, and he chose to spend it with me and the kids. He wanted us to go out for supper as a family friday night. And then he suggested we all go to a hockey game, which meant we'd all skip the kids' 6:30pm bedtime and move it to 10pm. Saturday morning the kids crawled into bed with me around 6 am, and snoozed until 8am (which never happens!). Saturday night we had plans to go to an East Indian Diwali event, and get a sitter.... last minute friday night hubby asked if we could take the kids....  The ticket for a.child was $15, the other was free, vs $45-$50 for a sitter. And allow the kids to experience a different culture! So Saturday was a other late night for the kids, they loved it. Sunday was a chill day, kids and daddy went for a playdate while I grocery shopped. Then I took in a movie and exchange some clothes while kids and daddy had a stay in movie and popcorn.

So why in the world am I cranky? Gotta love the lady cycle..... it wrecks havoc on the mental and emotional and hormones in a womans body. And to top it off.... I feel a little cold coming on.... man cold my arse. I have a woman cold during a woman cycle and a little worn out..... that's enough for any woman to feel cranky.

I may be a bit cranky, but my heart is full. I couldn't ask for more. 

And my husband, he has discovered his super power over the years.... whenever I'm not myself.... or having strong emotions... and even the occasional anxiety attack.... his long, gentle and firm hugs melt away my heartaches, and he give me strenght again.

And for those amazing 2 boys of ours, who are such sensitive souls, filled with unconditional love.... they keep my heart beating.

My tea is cold, typical mom tea.... thank you for letting me share this with you, thank you for listening,  I'm feeling much better.

Sweet dreams

Xo

D

Amazing homemade Roman Shades!

http://365days2simplicity.blogspot.ca/2011/04/easy-no-sew-roman-shades.html?m=1

When life throws you a "curve ball"...

...you can swing with all your might.... or you can stop. Pick up a flower among the weeds and admire it's beauty.  Have a look at your toddler and let his giggles warm your heart.  Take a drive to the driving range and watch your golf ball sore through the air. Take a deep breath. And think of something else for the moment.

Because while you may be caught up in the heat of the "curve ball", and want to give it all you got to throw it back, making split decisions in the heat of the moment.... sometimes end up with regrets.

Meanwhile, if you just stop for a moment, focus on something else, anything, something positive, something that brings a smile to your face, tell yourself this, "Self, I'm not my happy self right now and I can't make an emotional decision that I may regret.  Take care of this subconsciously while I busy myself with something more positive and productive. " and come back to it later.

You'll come back to it with a refreshed perspective, calm and more level headed. At this time you can calmly decide to just let it go, or come up with a sensible solution. Pick your battles.  Don't waste your time with things that don't bring value to your life. Life is too short.  Your subconscious can do wonderful things if you use it more often.  It does a lot of background work, even when you're not actively thinking about it.

So next time you have a question, situation, feelings, issue, challenge, problem or whatever else that makes you worry or think too much, tell your subconscious to take care of it while you do something else.  You'll be amazed at the ideas that you wake up with the next day.  You may have coffee with a friend some day and have an unrelated conversation with them and all of a sudden it gives you the answer to what you were looking for.  You may read a book, and find your answer written in black and white, as if it was written specifically to address that lingering thought in the back of your mind.

It can be such a powerful tool!  Use it. Try it.  It's worked wonders for me..... whenever I've remembered to use it.  Of course some things take more time to figure out.  Somethings are right in front of you and you see it everyday.... until one day you realize it has a purpose or meaning.

I hope this doesn't come out as a ramble.  I challenge myself everyday to find the good in things, even the hard ones,  and it's made me a much happier person. This one has worked for me many times.

I would encourage you to find sources of positive energy to plug into everyday.  Be it a motivational cd from a favorite speaker, read regularly from books that offer positive information and allow you to grow in different areas, associate with positive people, attend intellectually stimulating events held by people with the intention to enrich your life (contact me if you wish to obtain some amazing sources).

If you put good/positive in, good/positive will come out.
Be happy and god bless,