So to keep posts short and as quick reads and to the point.... I wrote a separate post on the loss of my mother at 13 years old, in 1993. These 2 posts go hand in hand.
I finished reading "Embraced by the light" last weekend and I needed it to settle before I was able to put thoughts into words.
When you lose a loved one, it creates this emptiness inside.... it creates a void.... because that person filled a portion of your heart with their love.... and you realize that this source of love is no longer alive.
You have a million and 1 thought go through your mind.... most of them questions of why.... some negative thoughts.... and sometimes in those circumstances.... it's very difficult, even sometimes it feels impossible to find closure.
This book has brought healing to my life.
My dad first read it over a weekend, he received the book from a friend who had recently lost her mom to cancer.
He devoured the book. For the first time in a long time, I can see that he has accomplished some healing. There's something different in his eyes.... a little less pain... and even though he doesn't talk about mom alot.... the "secret tension" seems to have diminished.
He called me excitedly and asked me to go online and order several books, so that he could share them with my sister and I and a few other people.
I, in turn read the book in 2 sittings.... I laughed, I gasped, I cried, I felt pain, and I felt relief. And finally.... felt at peace.
Without going into too much details and give the book's meaning away... everyone who's lost a loved one, needs to read this book.... it's a quick read, big print, and big message. It is not for a specific religion, and I hope it brings you the same feeling of peace and closure as it has for our family.
I've mentioned to my husband that he may want to read it sometime, but at the same time, if you or your loved ones haven't experienced this.... it may be more difficult for them to relate to the book. And so, it's good to keep it on hand for later.... or to share with another friend who may also have lost a close one.
Thank you Betty J Eadie for sharing your experience and writing your book.... I'm definitely looking forward to your next one.
I hope your journey in life is full of little miracles and messages. I also wish you love and patience during your struggles and speedy recoveries.... don't linger too long in pain and misery, they are difficult addictions to break, and you could be missing out on alot of wonderful things in life.
Love Always,
D
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Mom passed away, Dec 18, 1993
My mother died suddenly, Dec 18th, 1993 (true story). Exactly 1 week before Christmas. She had gone to her work Christmas party, and my dad had opted to stay home with his 2 girls, my sister, 11 at the time, and myself, 13.
Only she didn't make it home. She was less than 2 km from the house coming back from the party when she was suddenly hit by a driver under the influence.
It'll be 19 years this December, and while my dad and sister and I have managed to live our lives as normal as possible, we have felt the pain of loss, loss of a wonderful wife, best friend and soul mate for my dad, loss of a beautiful mother, caring and loving soul, a sister to her siblings, a dear friend to many, and someone they could call when having difficulty to many more. She was always there to help someone through difficult times.
To this day my parents have been my role models and I can only hope to be able to fill those shoes, and to be able to touch as many lives as they have.
I've always felt she was an angel sent to earth to shine a light in everyone's life, including ours, and mine specifically. But that's another story for another time.
And what of the gentleman who had chosen to drive home, inebriated that evening? I wish him lots of love and support, for I can only imagine the burden of his choice that evening. I feel love for him as my heart was broken that evening, his heart still breaks, and everyone deserves to be able to live their lives to the fullest.
I hope some day to have the opportunity to give him a hug, and help him heal and feel loved.
I've felt this way for many years, and many friends have asked, "How does it make you feel?" or "How can you not feel hate, or angry?"
For the longest time I didn't know how to answer that question, but I could remember one thing.
One day in high school, by best friend and I had gone to a movie with her mom in the next town over. We ran into this lovely couple, and my friend's mom introduced us. I immediately noticed a great amount of pain and sorrow in this man's eyes. He looked so ill.... not really physically.... but his eyes.... showed a tortured soul.
I didn't know the couple.
A few weeks later, my best friend and I were hanging out at her place, she was playing guitar... and she wanted to ask me something. I can only imagine now, how difficult it must have been for her to bring up the subject.
She asked me if I remembered the couple we met at the movie a few weeks ago... and I did. She asked if I knew who they were... and I didn't, other than the introduction.... and she mentioned.... he was the man involved in the car accident with my mother. And since that day.... I understood why I saw soo much pain in his eyes.... and understood why I could never hate that man for the rest of my life. He was suffering.... and I could only feel love for him.
I could share many more stories... but this is my thought of the day... and has been for so long....
learn to love.... unconditionally.... it will bring you tremendous strength.
Love Always,
D
Only she didn't make it home. She was less than 2 km from the house coming back from the party when she was suddenly hit by a driver under the influence.
It'll be 19 years this December, and while my dad and sister and I have managed to live our lives as normal as possible, we have felt the pain of loss, loss of a wonderful wife, best friend and soul mate for my dad, loss of a beautiful mother, caring and loving soul, a sister to her siblings, a dear friend to many, and someone they could call when having difficulty to many more. She was always there to help someone through difficult times.
To this day my parents have been my role models and I can only hope to be able to fill those shoes, and to be able to touch as many lives as they have.
I've always felt she was an angel sent to earth to shine a light in everyone's life, including ours, and mine specifically. But that's another story for another time.
And what of the gentleman who had chosen to drive home, inebriated that evening? I wish him lots of love and support, for I can only imagine the burden of his choice that evening. I feel love for him as my heart was broken that evening, his heart still breaks, and everyone deserves to be able to live their lives to the fullest.
I hope some day to have the opportunity to give him a hug, and help him heal and feel loved.
I've felt this way for many years, and many friends have asked, "How does it make you feel?" or "How can you not feel hate, or angry?"
For the longest time I didn't know how to answer that question, but I could remember one thing.
One day in high school, by best friend and I had gone to a movie with her mom in the next town over. We ran into this lovely couple, and my friend's mom introduced us. I immediately noticed a great amount of pain and sorrow in this man's eyes. He looked so ill.... not really physically.... but his eyes.... showed a tortured soul.
I didn't know the couple.
A few weeks later, my best friend and I were hanging out at her place, she was playing guitar... and she wanted to ask me something. I can only imagine now, how difficult it must have been for her to bring up the subject.
She asked me if I remembered the couple we met at the movie a few weeks ago... and I did. She asked if I knew who they were... and I didn't, other than the introduction.... and she mentioned.... he was the man involved in the car accident with my mother. And since that day.... I understood why I saw soo much pain in his eyes.... and understood why I could never hate that man for the rest of my life. He was suffering.... and I could only feel love for him.
I could share many more stories... but this is my thought of the day... and has been for so long....
learn to love.... unconditionally.... it will bring you tremendous strength.
Love Always,
D
Monday, September 3, 2012
Today is our 1 year anniversary :)
Wow, how does time ever fly when you're having the time of your life!!!
I can't believe it's been 1 year already, and I can't believe I spent it with the man and love of my life.
You know, the funny thing is, that usually when you get married, your friends tease you or your husband to-be about "signing your life away" or it's all down hill from now!!!" or even "the old' ball and chain eh?!" but in our case, we were surrounded by friends and family telling us how it's the best thing in the world, it's a whole new amazing experience and how it just changes your relationship and makes it that much better!
And I have to say that's exactly what happened! We're sooo much closer than we've ever been! And I feel so blessed to have such a generous loving man, who loves kids and just wants to be the best he can be! He inspires me to keep being the best I can be as well.
We support eachother in our weaknesses and are there for eachother through thick and thin, and have worked so hard on our communication skills and have come such a long way!
I can only imagine what the future holds for us! I know there will be tough times along the way but I also know we are so good together that we can pull through anything!
I love him with all my heart and we have so much fun together. I'm glad we read the relationship books we've read so far, I can't imagine where we'd be today had we not chosen to access information not taught in schools or life.
Imagine if schools taught how men and women can get along, and how to sort out problems and differences in life, we would have so many amazing relationships and it would definitely impact the 50%+ rate of divorce we have today.
May you all be blessed with healthy loving relationships, and be open to different information if struggles come your way. It sure changed our lives and those of many others we know.
Love always,
D
I can't believe it's been 1 year already, and I can't believe I spent it with the man and love of my life.
You know, the funny thing is, that usually when you get married, your friends tease you or your husband to-be about "signing your life away" or it's all down hill from now!!!" or even "the old' ball and chain eh?!" but in our case, we were surrounded by friends and family telling us how it's the best thing in the world, it's a whole new amazing experience and how it just changes your relationship and makes it that much better!
And I have to say that's exactly what happened! We're sooo much closer than we've ever been! And I feel so blessed to have such a generous loving man, who loves kids and just wants to be the best he can be! He inspires me to keep being the best I can be as well.
We support eachother in our weaknesses and are there for eachother through thick and thin, and have worked so hard on our communication skills and have come such a long way!
I can only imagine what the future holds for us! I know there will be tough times along the way but I also know we are so good together that we can pull through anything!
I love him with all my heart and we have so much fun together. I'm glad we read the relationship books we've read so far, I can't imagine where we'd be today had we not chosen to access information not taught in schools or life.
Imagine if schools taught how men and women can get along, and how to sort out problems and differences in life, we would have so many amazing relationships and it would definitely impact the 50%+ rate of divorce we have today.
May you all be blessed with healthy loving relationships, and be open to different information if struggles come your way. It sure changed our lives and those of many others we know.
Love always,
D
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