Mom passed away, Dec 18, 1993

My mother died suddenly, Dec 18th, 1993 (true story).  Exactly 1 week before Christmas.  She had gone to her work Christmas party, and my dad had opted to stay home with his 2 girls, my sister, 11 at the time, and myself, 13.

Only she didn't make it home.  She was less than 2 km from the house coming back from the party when she was suddenly hit by a driver under the influence.

It'll be 19 years this December, and while my dad and sister and I have managed to live our lives as normal as possible, we have felt the pain of loss, loss of a wonderful wife, best friend and soul mate for my dad, loss of a beautiful mother, caring and loving soul, a sister to her siblings, a dear friend to many, and someone they could call when having difficulty to many more.  She was always there to help someone through difficult times.

To this day my parents have been my role models and I can only hope to be able to fill those shoes, and to be able to touch as many lives as they have.

I've always felt she was an angel sent to earth to shine a light in everyone's life, including ours, and mine specifically. But that's another story for another time.

And what of the gentleman who had chosen to drive home, inebriated that evening?  I wish him lots of love and support, for I can only imagine the burden of his choice that evening.  I feel love for him as my heart was broken that evening, his heart still breaks, and everyone deserves to be able to live their lives to the fullest.

I hope some day to have the opportunity to give him a hug, and help him heal and feel loved.

I've felt this way for many years, and many friends have asked, "How does it make you feel?" or "How can you not feel hate, or angry?"

For the longest time I didn't know how to answer that question, but I could remember one thing.

One day in high school, by best friend and I had gone to a movie with her mom in the next town over.  We ran into this lovely couple, and my friend's mom introduced us.  I immediately noticed a great amount of pain and sorrow in this man's eyes.  He looked so ill.... not really physically.... but his eyes.... showed a tortured soul.

I didn't know the couple.

A few weeks later, my best friend and I were hanging out at her place, she was playing guitar... and she wanted to ask me something.  I can only imagine now, how difficult it must have been for her to bring up the subject.

She asked me if I remembered the couple we met at the movie a few weeks ago... and I did. She asked if I knew who they were... and I didn't, other than the introduction.... and she mentioned.... he was the man involved in the car accident with my mother.  And since that day.... I understood why I saw soo much pain in his eyes.... and understood why I could never hate that man for the rest of my life.  He was suffering.... and I could only feel love for him.

I could share many more stories... but this is my thought of the day... and has been for so long....

learn to love.... unconditionally.... it will bring you tremendous strength.

Love Always,
D